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TOPIC: Joke time!

Joke time! 22 Feb 2018 21:16 #82367

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My son asked me "what do you call a cow that plays guitar?"

"A Moosician..."
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Steve Gower
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Owner: 1955 Vagabond, 1958 35HP Johnson
1953 Deluxe Runabout

Joke time! 22 Feb 2018 14:47 #82357

Extra funny given that the photograph appears to have been torn asunder and repaired.

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Joke time! 22 Feb 2018 04:39 #82347

:woohoo:

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1955 Vagabond
1956 30hp Evinrude Lark
1973 Glastron GT 150

Joke time! 22 Feb 2018 03:43 #82346

:woohoo:

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1955 Vagabond
1956 30hp Evinrude Lark
1973 Glastron GT 150
Last Edit: by alanbiltz.

Joke time! 21 Feb 2018 05:55 #82312

Getting old

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet!
An 80-year-old man was requested by his Doctor for a sperm count
as part of his physical exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and
bring back a semen sample tomorrow."
The next day the 80-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office
and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.
The doctor asked what happened and the man explained, "Well,
doc, it's like this -- first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then
I tried with my left hand, but still nothing."
"Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then
with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with the
teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing."
"We even called up Arlene the lady next door and she tried too,
first with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin'
it between her knees, but still nothing ....."
The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"
The old man replied, "Yep, none of us could get the jar open."
Just what were you thinking?
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Love and a .45--one will kill you one will keep you alive.
"God gives me grace and the Devil gives me style"
1954 Vagabond 40HP Lark IV
1953 Deluxe Runabout
1956 Crestliner Commodore 10HP Sportwin
1962 Lonestar Holiday
1994 Landau 50HP Honda (BBJ)

Joke time! 21 Feb 2018 03:23 #82300

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Okay, I laughed, that was funny...:laughing:

nsul8r25 wrote:

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Steve Gower
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Owner: 1955 Vagabond, 1958 35HP Johnson
1953 Deluxe Runabout

Joke time! 21 Feb 2018 00:58 #82294

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A nice, calm, and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”

The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”

The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said,
“You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”
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57' Fleet Ranger111
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56' Johnson's...Javelin,2x30,15, and 7 1/2 hp

we have not inherited the earth from our fathers, we are borrowing it from our children

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Joke time! 20 Feb 2018 23:37 #82293

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'58 Vagabond II / '56 Evinrude Lark 30hp
'53 Experimental Flyer / '56 Evinrude Big Twin 30hp
'51 Penguin / '49 Johnson TD20 5hp
'52 Cheif / 1957 Johnson FD11 18hp

Joke time! 20 Feb 2018 23:21 #82292

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Recently a routine police patrol parked outside a bar in Austin, Texas. After last call the officer noticed a man leaving the bar so apparently intoxicated that he could barely walk.

The man stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, with the officer quietly observing.


After what seemed an eternity in which he tried his keys on five different vehicles, the man managed to find his car and fall into it. He sat there for a few minutes as a number of other patrons left the bar and drove off.

Finally he started the car, switched the wipers on and off--it was a fine, dry summer night, flicked the blinkers on and off a couple of times, honked the horn and then switched on the lights. He moved the vehicle forward a few inches, reversed a little and then remained still for a few more minutes as some more of the other patrons' vehicles left.

At last, when his was the only car left in the parking lot, he pulled out and drove slowly down the road.

The police officer, having waited patiently all this time, now started up his patrol car, put on the flashing lights, promptly pulled the man over and administered a breathalyzer test.

To his amazement, the breathalyzer indicated no evidence that the man had consumed any alcohol at all!

Dumbfounded, the officer said, "I'll have to ask you to accompany me to the police station. This breathalyzer equipment must be broken."

"I doubt it", said the truly proud Texan. "Tonight I'm the DD..........designated decoy."
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57' Fleet Ranger111
57' Fleet Cartopper
56' Johnson's...Javelin,2x30,15, and 7 1/2 hp

we have not inherited the earth from our fathers, we are borrowing it from our children

uppercanadachapteroftheaomci.yolasite.com/
Last Edit: by jabe.

Joke time! 20 Feb 2018 20:16 #82285

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Just as a surgeon was finishing up an operation the patient wakes up, and demands to know what is going on.

"I'm about to close," the surgeon says.

The patient grabs his hand and says, "Oh, no you're not! I am also a surgeon. I'll close my own incision."

The doctor hands him the needle and says, "Suture self."
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